Musings, Illumination, Smiles & Beauty

Archive for July, 2012

So Much To Do?

Here’s a question that occurred to me recently: If I have so much to do, then why am I doing nothing?

Not literally doing nothing, just that feeling, that lack of one finished thing.

I have a lot on my plate now and I love it! After all, I made it that way, I’m progressing into my interests more deeply these days, and that’s great. But I keep working on each of them at once so, even though I am moving forward, after stepping back and taking in the bigger picture, it doesn’t look that way. Maybe there is such a thing as too much at once.

I can’t help but wonder, is it a distraction I created for myself? I can say, “Look, I AM doing something!” I can see the foundation, but nothing I can definitively point to and have someone else see the form taking shape.

Maybe it’s a new guise of fear, after all, my interests are an integral part of who I am, and if no one sees my projects, then I don’t have to worry about what they think. Ahhh, it is so much more comfortable to keep it all to myself, as I’ve always done.

Maybe it’s a great thing to finally delve in and not be afraid, and yes, there’s real daily life happening-priorities and all that.

But old habits are tricky.

So, trick is to outsmart that fear, and actually ‘put myself out there.’

Eeek!

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